Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
