gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
