i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
