Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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