just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
