1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
