planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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