it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
