THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
