okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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