Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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