Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
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i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
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Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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