Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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