Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
