I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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