i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
