Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
