You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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