At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
