guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize