I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she smelled like a LAN party
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
