Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
FUCK WHALES
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
