the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I can't turn off my feet"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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