Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
