Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
