So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
pray to the hookup gods
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
