Christians are straight up FREAKS
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
