State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
