decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
is that a dick in a sweater?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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