ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
