is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
