this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
