I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
