Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
