i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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