When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize