omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
