It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
