Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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