We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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