It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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