Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
