Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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