she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
