His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
