I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
