I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
