Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
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That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
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Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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