Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize