too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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