Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
