my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
