either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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