it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
