saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
