Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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