she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
