i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My bed smells like the plague
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
